Slowly Dealing with the Guilt!

I'm slowly settling in with my new life. Even though Christopher is 14 months, I am still adjusting. From other working mom sites that I have visited, this is apparently a normal reaction. Never in a million years did I think I would react to motherhood in this way. I never realized what an adjustment bringing a new life into the world would be. Don't get me wrong, I knew an adjustment would take place, but I had no idea that it would totally consume my being.

I am...or perhaps I should say, was,...organized, a multi-tasker and a go-getter. At this point, I am neither. Before Christopher, I could accomplish everything all in one day and feel complete. Today, I would get lucky if I could accomplish one thing on my to-do list. And this, my friends, is what I am struggling to deal with the most. At the end of the day, I reflect on what I have gotten done and honestly, if it didn't have anything to do with Christopher...it didn't get done!

My bathrooms haven't been cleaned in weeks...maybe even months. Hell, my house hasn't been vacuumed in weeks either. I haven't read a book in over a year and the last time I got a massage was before Christopher was born.

My days are consumed with the following:
1. Work
2. Determining meals for Christopher
3. Determinig meals for us
4. Cleaning the kitchen
5. Cleaning up after Christopher
6. Laundry, laundry and more laundry
7. Spending time with Christopher before his bedtime
8. Preparing for the next day
9. Crashing into bed to start it all over again...the vicious and un-ending cycle.

I want to do it all...I really do, but I just can't physically do it. This is what I have to deal with. Somedays are good and somedays are bad. I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not perfect, I am human...let me repeat that...I.am.not.perfect, I.am.human.

One step closer in dealing with my guilt. Baby steps, friends...baby steps!